me: hi i'd like to order sweet and sour chicken, some beef frie-
chinese restaurant: do u want egg roll
me: i didn't even finish my order
chinese restaurant: *to the chef* Zhīfáng měiguó xīwàng dàn juǎn
Expectations: Using the person next to you as a pillow.
Reality: Using the pillow next to you as a person.
wizardsandhijack: hospitalf0rsouls: Omfg so if Mary had baby Jesus, and baby Jesus was the Lamb of God… did Mary have a little lamb? you broke the world
fullmetalfisting: one time in high school i didnt read the assigned book and i was like fuck it imma write this essay anyway and i had no idea what the book was even about or who the characters were so i just spewed out some shit about archetypes and the teacher came up to me after class and told me i was the only student who truly understood the book